


Not "A or B," But Infinity.

by Maki_Jss



Category: X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-08 11:40:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21475420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maki_Jss/pseuds/Maki_Jss
Summary: Kim Wooseok secretly adores Cho Seungyoun, but he thinks Seungyoun treats everyone nicely and that he'll never be the special one to him. It turns out...
Relationships: Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Kim Wooseok | Wooshin
Comments: 12
Kudos: 75





	Not "A or B," But Infinity.

Kim Wooseok has two glass bottles. If Cho Seungyeon makes him happy that day, he places a crystal ball into Bottle A; and if Cho Seungyeon makes him mad that day, he puts a crystal ball into Bottle B.

“Hyung, this is so cute! Can I have some crystal balls?” One day, Hyeongjun passes by Wooseok’s room and immediately becomes interested.  
Wooseok has an uneasy look on his face. Although he loves the little ones, apparently he could not let anyone have any of the crystal balls. Thankfully, Hangyul passes by at the moment and says, “Hyeongjun, this is some sort of ritual by your Wooseok hyung. He’s been acting weird and putting balls into these bottles every night. I bet you don’t want to take any of them away, they might be cursed.”

Hyeongjun’s face shows that he absolutely has no idea what Hangyul’s talking about, but being a cute and obedient kid himself, he just nods and leaves Wooseok’s room, trying to find another person to hang out.

“Wooseok, I don’t know what you have for these two glass bottles, but I saw your face just now and I thought I’d come to help you out.” Hangyul then says to Wooseok.  
“Really? Hmm… yea, maybe they contain too much hatred.” Wooseok is more like murmuring to himself, not knowing Hangyul, who stands beside him is a little freaked out.  
After Hangyul leaves his room, Wooseok opens the drawer and picks another crystal ball from a container, throwing it to bottle B for the day, thinking to himself: “What the hell? Tonight when everyone’s hanging out in the dorms sharing snacks, and Seungyeon completely disappears.”

Kim Wooseok doesn’t remember exactly since when that Cho Seungyoun can only bring him two kinds of feelings: happy and unhappy. Worse still, Wooseok’s mood for the day could be critically affected by this. Although Wooseok knows full well that he shouldn’t care too much about him, nor should he care about who he likes to hang out with, he always ends up being in a mood mixed with anger and sadness. When this kind of sentiments accumulated to a dangerous level, he bought two glass bottles and hundreds of small crystal balls one day, trying to reify his feelings for Seungyeon through this “daily ritual.” Anyways, they look beautiful on his table in the room, so why not?

But happiness does come easy for Wooseok. For example, if he and Seungyeon have interactions in a show, on a stage, or if Seungyeon suddenly wants to take a selfie with him, that would make his entire day, and of course, a crystal ball goes to Bottle A. Man, I’m so whipped for him, Wooseok sighed.

Of course, Wooseok knows one does not have only one friend, not to mention someone like Cho Seungyeon, wherever he goes, he becomes the center of attention. Wooseok used to be cool about this if he’s just a teammate. However, from his personal stance, he realizes that he hates to see Seungyeon being so popular and busy, and thus not paying more attention to him. After all, they are indeed just teammates. But deep inside Wooseok’s heart, he really wants to be that special one in Seungyeon’s life.  
“Am I not good enough?” Wooseok asks himself before bed, but he soon feels embarrassed by this question, as he thinks it makes him very pathetic.

Just now he briefly asked Hangyul about Seungyeon’s whereabouts for this snack night, but Hangyul also had no clue. Wooseok wonders if he should text him, but he’s not sure if he has the position to ask another adult male about where he is at night.  
Wooseok stares at his two bottles with shining crystal balls and bottle B clearly contains more balls than bottle A.

What do I like about you? You are making me THIS mad on a daily basis! –Wooseok screams internally.

The next day Wooseok wakes up early simply because he’s a light sleeper. He walks towards the bathroom which is outside at the end of the hallway. Before entering, he hears the sound of running water. He doesn’t wear his glasses in the morning, but he can still tell it is Seungyeon, who’s there brushing his teeth, with only a towel around his waist, probably just finishing shower.  
“So you are up.” Wooseok says to the man in the mirror, trying to act natural.  
“Yea.” Seungyeon is still brushing so he could only smile to him with that crescent eyes. He then points to his head, and then Wooseok’s.  
Wooseok has no idea what he means, but as he squints into the mirror again, he sees his flying hair due to his lousy posture in bed the night before.  
Seungyoun now rinses his mouth and finally starts to laugh at him, “You don’t sleep tight, do you? Well, that hair is cute though, making you look at Dokin-chan even more.”  
Wooseok sighs, pulling his glasses out of his pocket and wears them on. However, as soon as he gains his eyesight, he discerns how clear and crisp he can see about Seungyeon’s half-naked body. Moreover, he can’t help but trace the gun tattoo on the side of his lower torso. For god’s sake who would have a tattoo on that place if he’s not overly sexual? But oh well, Wooseok is a sane and rational person, he can hold his feeling.

“So when did you come back last night?” Wooseok tries to hide his curiosity by asking him indifferently.  
Seungyoun gets a little surprised as if the question should not be coming from the person in front of him. But he answers, “Oh, last night, I was in the studio making some music.”  
“Oh really?” Wooseok raises his voice a bit. He is still a little suspicious, but he figures he has no reason to be though.  
“What’s wrong?” Seungyoun’s voice comes again.  
“Nothing, just the kids were asking. You know they like to hang out with you.”  
“Well, I see. So you guys did not have fun because I wasn’t here last night.” Seungyoun smirks.  
“Shut up.” Wooseok stops his righteous thinking.

Seungyoun looks at himself in the mirror one more time before leaving the bathroom, only to be stopped by Wooseok, who asks from behind, “Don’t you blow-dry your hair? You would get a cold.”  
“It’s ok. It will be dry.” Seungyoun leaves while waving his hand.  
“Heck.” Wooseok curses, I wouldn’t even care if it wasn't you.

Although he’s a bit mad, he still smiles with a sense of satisfaction, simply because he met Seungyeon first thing in the morning in an empty bathroom, talked to him, knew where he was last night—this is enough information to make him happy already.

However, happiness is often temporary, as we all know. A few hours later in the afternoon that day, Wooseok starts to have a gloomy face again.  
It all starts with a group filming job. A female journalist from a magazine is there to interview them as well. That woman seems to be an old acquittance of Seungyoun, so they have been chatting and laughing the entire time at the site, calling out names of mutual friends and such. Although Wooseok is also talking with the mangnaes every now and then, he cannot help but glances at Seungyeon's direction.

“Hyung, are you not feeling well? Your face is pale.” Hyeongjun is still being that angel.  
“Oh no, I’m fine. I woke up too early I guess.” Wooseok drags himself back to the present and answers the little one with a smile.  
“Then take some rest. You see, Minhee is there already asleep.” Hyeongjun points on a big sofa not far away.  
“Thanks, dear.” Wooseok pinches Hyeongjun’s baby face and thinks, if only someone in the room is as cute and caring as him.

Yet suddenly, he hears that someone calls his name, and waves at him, inviting him to go over there.  
Wooseok can’t control his feet but walks towards him. Yea, he is that whipped, he can’t even say no when he’s being called by Seungyoun. He first bows a little to that journalist since she’s older. And then looks at Seungyoun: “So what’s the matter?”

“Remember Mr. Kwon from last week’s composing class? This unnie is his cousin. I remember you told Mr. Kwon that you made a demo, right? And asked if he could listen and give you suggestions?”

Wooseok is a little startled. Seungyoun knows this episode about him? He did not even realize Seungyoun was there at that time. Actually, Wooseok doesn’t like people to know about him making music, but he showed Seungyoun once, just once. Last week when they had this guest teacher Mr. Kwon, he was excited because he liked many of his songs, so he approached him after class just to chat a bit. However, he didn’t really want to send a demo to him since he’s not confident enough. But now, since Seungyeon mentions it, Wooseok feels that he may be obliged to do so. Oh well, it’s not a bad thing, Wooseok comforts himself, since he himself is not good at socializing with people, Seungyoun now may be doing him a favor.

The journalist chats with them for a while and leaves. It is at this point that Wooseok finally gets a chance to question Seungyoun:  
“How do you know about my conversation with Mr. Kwon?”  
“I was standing next to you when you and Mr. Kwon were talking, remember? You don’t always take initiatives, and I know you want his advice. So take the chance this time or else it would be gone.”  
Wooseok takes in a deep breath: “Well, thank you.”  
Seungyoun seems a little surprised by Wooseok’s reaction, “What’s the matter? You’re not happy?”  
“I am. I mean, I just think you really have a good personality. You can probably achieve whatever you want.” Wooseok says with a little bit of weariness on his face and then leaves the site.  
Wooseok ruminates, he should perhaps be happy since Seungyoun cares about his music demo. But he’s pretty sure that Seungyoun treats everyone like this. He still remembers a few days ago Seungyoun praised Eunsang and said he wanted to introduce him to his friend in the industry.

Ok, fine. His friend. Everyone in this world seems to be Cho Seungyoun's friend.

The filming took the entire afternoon and evening, and the cohort finally get into their van heading home around 10:30pm.  
Everyone seems tired, and thus the van is surprisingly quiet that day. Some people are listening to music with their earpods on, while others just directly falling asleep. Wooseok does not like to sleep in cars, so he stares at the stream of neon and lights flashing past the window. He also sees his seatmate, Seungyoun, in the reflection, who is playing a game on his phone. He’s wearing that grey beanie again, which does not really go with the weather but it’s cool for Wooseok.  
After a while, Wooseok suddenly feels the weight of Seungyoun’s head on his shoulder which dazed him a bit. He is not sure if Seungyoun wakes himself up by this little crash, but after a few seconds, there seems to be no sign of him being awake. Wooseok lets out a sigh of relief and feels content to just stay in this position with Seungyoun for a while.

Wooseok tries to look at Seungyoun, but it is too dark in the van. However, he soon finds that the phone in Seungyoun’s hand is about to drop. He quickly presses his hand on Seungyoun’s so that the phone is locked under their accidentally overlapped palms.  
At that exact moment, Wooseok realizes that he doesn’t want to move his hand from Seungyoun’s now.

Wooseok’s fingers are now crossed and intertwined with Seungyoun’s; even though he is not sure if the latter is awake, as long as he doesn’t resist, it should be fine, right?

“Hmm…” Seungyoun suddenly let out a slight moan from sleep.  
Wooseok tingles his shoulders a little.  
“… let me sleep a bit more…” Seungyoun murmurs. It seems that he has no idea about the fact that their hands are crossed on the seat.  
Wooseok feels reassured but then embarrassed for being so reckless. So he tries to move the phone under their hands a little bit inward towards the inside of the seat.  
Just when Wooseok is about to lift his hand from Seungyoun’s, the other’s hand quickly drags his, this time pressing Wooseok’s hand under.

Wooseok is so surprised that he looks at Seungyoun in disbelief. More to his surprise, Seungyoun abruptly leaves a quick kiss on Wooseok’s cheek in the dark.

Wooseok did not expect this at all. It’s so dark inside and outside at this point and he cannot see Seungyoun’s expression. Is he making a prank? He whispers, “Are you crazy?”  
However, this Cho Seungyoun now pretends to be sleeping again, not answering him at all. Yet his hand is still holding Wooseok’s on the seat, even tighter.

???

Wooseok has absolutely no idea what kind of prank this is. He cautiously looks around, glad to find nobody has been watching their direction.

The two keep this posture until arriving at their dorm. Wooseok feels a newly gained sore on his shoulder right after he steps out of the van. Damn, it’s all Seungyoun’s fault. That heavy head!

Yet Seungyoun looks like nothing ever happened, striding in front of everyone. And then he starts to make fun of Hangyul on the way.  
Wooseok looks at him and moves his fingers, as if Seungyoun’s temperature is still there.  
What was he thinking?

Wooseok walks into his room, realizing its already midnight. Usually, he’s not sleepy at this time, but tonight he feels exhausted.  
He turns on the light on the table, pulls out his chair, and finds that the unfinished coffee from this morning is still there. He then traces the mug’s direction and gazes at the two glass bottles beside it. Indeed, the crystal balls in Bottle A are almost 1/2 fewer than in Bottle B. So, where should today’s crystal ball go?

A or B? Happy or Unhappy?

“Wooseokie, I’m coming in!”  
While Wooseok hasn’t even decided which bottle yet, Seungyoun’s voice unexpectedly sounds outside his door. And in fact, he just opens the door without Wooseok even saying a word.  
“What…”  
“Sorry, I know you must be awake so I come.” Seungyoun says with an apologetic smile.  
“What’s wrong this time?”  
“Well, I just want to borrow your hairdryer.”  
?  
While surprised, Wooseok does nod his head and points out where the hairdryer is, which is hanging behind the door.  
Seungyoun comes in, closes the door, and starts looking in the porches behind the door.

“So, what are you doing now?” Upon finding the hairdryer, Seungyoun looks at Wooseok and asks.  
“?” Wooseok is again caught off guard, he’s still holding a crystal ball in his hand though.  
“Is this some kind of game?” Seungyoun says while walking towards Wooseok. He sees the two glass bottles with shimmering crystals in them, “Wow, beautiful!”  
“It’s none of your business. Now you go take your shower or whatever.” Wooseok is a little nervous so he hurries him out.  
“Ok!” Seungyoun says delightfully as if a carefree child is living in that voice.  
For some reason, Wooseok feels mad all of a sudden. He throws the crystal ball into Bottle B, causing a crisp sound.  
Seungyoun is startled by the sound, he turns back, asking, “Hey, wanna take a shower together?” Of course jokingly.  
“No thanks.” Wooseok gives him a despised look.  
However, he waits for a few seconds, only to find out that Seungyoun does not open his room door.

“Wooseok-ah, what should I do to make you smile at me again?” Seungyoun has his hand on the doorknob already, but he doesn’t want to leave.  
“What?” Wooseok is unprepared for this.  
“You haven’t smiled at me for a long time,” says Seungyoun, who walks towards Wooseok closer.  
Wooseok feels somewhat vulnerable as Seungyoun approaches. He hugs himself while sitting in the chair.  
“You’re always like this, looking very insecure,” Seungyoun says and squats in front of Wooseok, looking straight into his eyes.  
Oh those shiny deer eyes, so dark and deep, sometimes like a black hole which can swallow you in.

“I have made you mad, haven’t I?” Seungyoun asks with a slightest discernible smile. He puts the hairdryer aside on the floor, and then puts his hands on the chair which Wooseok is sitting on.  
“I… I’m always like this.” Wooseok answers, he feels so helpless like a hassled rabbit. Sometimes he really doesn’t understand the spontaneity of Seungyoun’s personality.  
“Ok, then I’m thinking too much. Our Wooseokie also has people that he likes to take care of, right? Then I’m off. Good night.” Seungyoun stands up, showing his back to the little rabbit on the chair.  
And now Wooseok gets mad.

“Cho Seungyoun! Are you treating everyone like this?”  
“What?” Seungyoun turns around.  
“I mean, everyone likes you, right? So you assume that I must also like you? You idiot!”  
Seungyoun stuns upon hearing this. And Wooseok immediately regrets after yelling at him.  
Wooseok doesn’t dare to look into Seungyoun’s eyes now; he believes that Seungyoun would be mad at him for sure and would smash that door. But no, Seungyoun turns around again, and the next thing Wooseok knows, a finger lands on his cheek, then pulls up his chin.  
“Oh look at this little rabbit. Your eyes are red, are you going to cry?” Seungyoun’s voice comes with a lot of affection as if he’s really talking to his beloved pet.  
For some reason, Wooseok suddenly feels so wronged and wants to cry so much. The man in front of him aka Cho Seungyoun, the natural center of every crowd, is showing the smile that can melt his heart on a daily basis, but this man doesn't know that he is so in love with him. Wooseok looks at him, he can literally see himself in this man’s pupils, but he still feels unsure.

If only this man really loves him.  
Wooseok contemplates, while his tears dripping down without him even realizes.

“Wait, no, you really crying!? Wooseok-ah, there, there.” Seungyoun panics. Like any other man, he gets nervous when seeing other people cry. He tries to look for tissues but couldn’t find any. So he suddenly embraces Wooseok’s head against his body, “Fine, wipe your tears on my clothes.”  
But this totally unexpected touch makes Wooseok astonished. He collects the rest of his tears almost immediately, and now he doesn’t even know how come they become in this position. Wooseok feels his head against Seungyoun’s strong and tight six-packs, and he can even feel the warmth.

“Are you feeling better?” A soft voice comes from Seungyoun.  
Wooseok nods his head, but he doesn’t dare to look up at him. He’s too shy now.

“Do you feel wronged? Is your oppa not treating you well?” Seungyoun jokes, saying that he’s the oppa.  
Wooseok feels even more embarrassed by his words because they sound like Seungyoun is treating him like a three-year-old. So he starts to hit Seungyoun’s body with his head. Once, twice, thrice… While doing it, he silently blaming himself for being so weak in front of Seungyoun, the man he secretly adores. And he will never ever cry in front of him!

Seungyoun does not shy away from this soft round of “attacks” from Wooseok’s own embarrassment. Instead, he smiles: “It’s ok if others don’t like me. But if Wooseokie doesn’t like me, then that’ll be the end of the world.”  
“That’s what a social butterfly says, right?” Wooseok still thinks that Seungyoun is showing off.  
“Well, because I don’t like being in a one-sided love,” answers Mr. Cho, “I want the most beautiful man aka Wooseokie to not leave me behind.”  
“What? What did you just say?” Wooseok cannot believe his ears. Is this what he think it is?

“I mean…” Wooseok starts to speak again in a tiny voice, “You have so many friends, don’t you? And… I’m just one of them… right? The boring one? You must be thinking I’m boring, having nothing in common with you. So you always go out during our breaks, right? You have more important friends outside that you want to meet, to make music, drink coffee, right? I know. I know all of this.” Wooseok counts without looking at Seungyoun, “But, don’t get me wrong. I don’t need you that much. I’m busy with my own stuff.” He says while holding himself again.

Seungyoun just stands there listening to Wooseok, his lovely doll, mumbling all to himself, and finally, he bursts into laughter. He remembers the first time they met, Wooseok looked all cool and unapproachable, but it turned out that he was just shy and trying to be protective. Actually, he really wants to be seen, to be loved. Seunyoun can tell with his empathetic heart.

“Well, if I have to explain, I actually like you so much. I thought you’d know.” Seungyoun holds Wooseok’s face cautiously, using his thumbs to wipe the trace of his tears.  
“What?”  
“But I didn’t know you also want more time with me.”  
Wooseok’s eyes shimmer, making Seungyoun suddenly feel a little shy to continue the words in his head:  
“Well, I mean, if you have told me earlier, I could take you… to many places… but I thought you didn’t like to be surrounded by so many strangers so…”  
“You’re right. I don’t like that,” says Wooseok, but then he feels sorry, “But those are your friends, right? So they are not related to me anyways.”  
“But Wooseokie, you actually are trying your best to be involved in things, right? You always challenge yourself and try to get out of your comfort zone, I know. So I wonder if you would feel better if I am around… Sorry I didn’t take into account your feelings. I’m sorry.”  
“No, you don’t have to…” Wooseok hurries to explain, “I mean, as long as you have me in your mind, I’m happy.”  
“And I have to apologize that I wasn’t here last night at the snack party,” Seungyoun continues, “I worked on a demo. Remember I really liked one that you made? There was new software in the studio, so I went there to test it, and brought your demo with me as well.”

“What? How come you have my demo?” Wooseok screams in disbelief. That should be something he’d bury with himself in the grave one day.  
“Yea of course. You opened it with my computer before, remember?”  
“Oh shit.”

“So how about next time we go to the studio together? I really like the demo you composed.”  
“Really, are they good enough for you?”  
“They are not only good enough for me, but also for the world. Also, the world should know you, but only as the idol who can also compose, not the person Kim Wooseok,” says Seungyoun wittingly.  
“What do you mean?”  
“I should be the only one who sees everything about you, the real you.”

Wooseok is flustered and blushed. He can’t look at Seungyoun anymore because he doesn’t want him to know his face is burning.  
Seungyoun smiles lovingly and pats Wooseok’s head. This is something that Wooseok used to do to him because he liked how soft Seungyoun’s hair felt. When they just debuted, Seungyoun, Hangyul, and the kids would always come to Wooseok’s room begging him to blow dry their hair after shower, because Wooseok was so good at it. But since when did they forget about this “ritual”?

“I’m not taking the hairdryer with me to the bathroom then.” Seungyoun says, “I’ll come back after shower. Can you help me dry my hair?”  
“No,” says Wooseok.  
“Awe… then I’m going to bed with my wet hair.”  
“Damn, then come back!”

The door finally opens and closes again. Wooseok smiles in satisfaction while looking at the two glass bottles on his table. He finally mixes the crystal balls into one container.

It is not "A or B." This person named Cho Seungyoun has been bringing him more than “happy” and “unhappy,” he’s giving him infinity.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm actually translating this work from Chinese to English here. So pardon my grammars and typos. I mainly write in Chinese but I'd love to share some of them with English readers. :)  
Find me on Twi @ meow_62


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